


Loss

by Cuddlykangaroo



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: M/M, MadScientist!Ryan, SwampMonster!Jack, Undead!Michael, attempt at multiple chapters, demon!Geoff, frankenstein!gavin, my lackluster return to ficing, spooky scary au, werewolf!Ray
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-28 15:33:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5095901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cuddlykangaroo/pseuds/Cuddlykangaroo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin changed his life for the better. He gave him friends, adventure and a life worth living. When he dies Ryan can't let go of the best thing to ever happen to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It's a blistering hot summer day when Ryan first mets Gavin. His lonely hilltop estate doesn't attract many visitors. The worn rough wood and warped glass make the house seem at first glance to be abandoned. Ryan liked it that way. No annoying people visiting without proper notification.

So Ryan answered the door and greeted the stranger as he normally would. With barely concealed annoyance and suspiciousness. The stranger didn't notice his discontent or if he did he pretended not to. "Hello! I'm Gavin Free and I've heard a lot about you Mr. Haywood."

"What do you want?" Ryan bit off. The chain lock on the door was still on and Ryan glared at the man through the open crack. He was a skinny twig with sandy blonde hair and bright eyes and that wide trusting smile. He didn't trust him one bit. 

The stranger- Gavin smiled and rocked back and forth on his heels. "I was hoping for a chat," he said in his British lilt. "That's all."

Ryan did not let the man's seeming harmlessness bring his guard down. "Chat about what? Who are you?" He said venomously.

Gavin's face contorted and his brow furrowed in confusion. He said cautiously, "I'm Gavin Free I'm from England and I work with and study magical creatures." He paused waiting to see if Ryan would interrupt. When he didn't he plowed forward. "I attended Lord Williams's School of Magical studies where I did much field work with discovering and recording magical entities. I was transferred to America to continue my work." He sighed lowering his eyes. "I've followed your work quite closely Mr. Haywood and I was hoping we could have a talk. Strictly business of course," he smiled again and Ryan found his hand unlocking the chain and opening the door for the young man to come it. He took on a look of childlike glee and ran inside. "Oh thank you Mr. Haywood!"

Ryan suddenly became nervous. Why had he let this man in? He was in no state to accept visitors and he certainly hadn't made a good first impression. He shook himself out of it.

"Yes please have a seat." He said mustering up all the politeness he could.

Gavin bounded over to the musty couch removing some of the heavy books that seemed to cover every item in his home. "Oh man this is top! I'm in Ryan Haywood's house." He squawked with joy, yes squawked. 'Oh god what did I just do,' Ryan thought. The last thing he needed was an excitable bird boy traipsing around his house disrupting his work.

"You have no idea how long it took to find this place," he said. "Lots of people told me I never would and that you've been off the grid for years," he laughed. "By the time I finally did find this place I heard so many horror stories it took days for me to hype myself up to knock on your door." He turned to Ryan still standing, frozen by the door. "But now I see they were wrong you're not evil just kinda hermit-like, oh no offense mate." Ryan didn't take offense; he was very aware of his reputation as a creepy secluded possibly evil scientist living alone in the hills. He wasn't offended because he knew it was the truth.

"You alright mate?" Gavin said. Looking at Ryan suspiciously. Ryan suddenly remember he hadn't said anything since letting this strange man in.

"Yes of course," he stuttered out. What was wrong with him? "Would you like some coffee?" He said. Ryan hadn't had a visitor in a long time but he seen enough TV to know that offering a drink was something people did. Gavin smiled again. Did he ever stop that? "Sure." Ryan went to the kitchen glad for the excuse.

"So Ryan, can I call you Ryan?" Gavin called from the living room. Ryan had the feeling that nothing he said would make a difference so he stayed quiet struggling to find two glasses. 

He hadn't had guests in a long time.

"Anyway Ryan like I said I'm a big fan. Your paper on the difference between the undead and ghosts was riveting," to enunciate his point he visibly shivered.   
“I was hoping to maybe help with your research. I have some papers in my bag from my school approving me for an internship if you want to have a look?” 

Ryan came back out with the coffee (he found a mug for Gavin but had to pour his own into a beaker). He paused. An intern? He’s never needed help before with his work or well that’s not true; he often needed help with bigger projects but nobody was ever around to offer. But now somebody was and Ryan had no idea what to make of it. 

"Whoa slow down," he said. He passed Gavin his cup secretly hoping he took it black or this might get weird. 

Gavin's smile deflated. "Oh of course I'm sorry I must have come on a little strong bursting into your house and demanding to work with you." He looked down and nursed his cup. Apparently he did like it black. This made Ryan happy but he wasn't sure why. 

"Umm yeah that's a bit not good," he mumbled. 

There was a weird silence. 

"I mean I might consider it," Ryan found himself saying. He shrugged. Having an extra pair of hands around might be useful for field work. He had a feeling the incident with the harpies wouldn't have been half as bad had he had some backup. 

Gavin's eyes brightened and he looked at Ryan with that big dopey grin. "Really? Oh that is top I thought I messed up my chance to work with my idol! Here let me get my papers," he dug through his bag and pulled out a thin manila folder. "Here's my recommendation letters from the university oh and here," he pulled out a rumpled business card from his pocket, "my contact info."

Ryan gave a half smile as he took the papers. "Thank you." He said. This was getting too weird for his tastes, the man had been here too long. Gavin seemed to pick up on this discomfort and stood. 

"Well I think I might have outstayed my welcome. Anyway thanks for the coffee and I do hope you consider my offer." He gathered his stuff and skipped out the door. "Later Ry-bread!" He called back.

Ryan sat there for a long time after Gavin left. Just staring down at the folder he left behind. He could try to forget about it. Just throw away the papers and try to forget the visit ever happened. An intern would be too much trouble especially one as bouncy and enthusiastic as Gavin. And yet he didn't, couldn't. Instead he read the folder. His mind was buzzing with many strange thoughts that he only half paid attention to what he was reading. But the half he read was impressive. 

Gavin had worked with many different types of magical creatures and assisted some of the top professors in his field, he had been on many field expeditions and had even discovered a new type of unicorn. (The type differed from regular unicorn species on the grounds that its horns were black and would cause a curse of eternal misfortune if touched while the average unicorn's horn typically just controls the seasons and plays harp music). He more he read about the strange smiling man the more his mind buzzed until he couldn't take it anymore.

He placed the folder on the coffee table, took several deep breaths, and cleaned up his living room. He wasn't entirely sure why he did this; he'd never minded his books and papers thrown haphazardly around and his shelves dusty and crowded with skulls and vials of strange liquids as no one had ever visited. But now Gavin had visited and, try as me might to deny it, he knew Gavin would visit again. 

-1 year later- 

“Geoff, Geoff, Geoff no!” Gavin squealed from the living room. Ryan stuck his head out of the kitchen to see Geoff with black eyes and advancing slowly on Gavin who was cowering in the corner, it might have seemed dangerous but Ryan could see them both smiling from where he stood. 

“You’re such a bitch,” Michael laughed from the couch. Watching the scene closely but making no move to help. 

“Shove it up his ass,” Ray said not looking up from his ds.

Ryan could see Geoff was holding a thin poker with a rapidly melting marshmallow at the tip. The demon’s horns and tail were alight with blue fire and he was growling. 

Geoff was the first to come, after Gavin of course. Ryan had been studying the existence of a hell which many witches had claimed was real. He hadn’t fully expected the summoning to work but a couple of rare skulls and some latin chanting later Geoff appeared. Tired and tattooed with a half drank bottle of whiskey in his hand. 

Ever since then Geoff just started hanging around. Neither Gavin or Ryan questioned it as Geoff was a literal demon and that was all they needed to know. Occasionally he would disappear is a whoosh of blue fire and come back days later. He claimed it was just some hell business and that Ryan shouldn’t pry. Ryan didn’t.

Jack had apparently had enough from where he sat on the kitchen table gently preening the colorful flowers that protruded from his green tinted skin. 

“Guys don’t make a mess,” the swamp monster inquired.

Jack came next. Gavin and Ryan were lurking in the swamp when a green lump tackled them. There was mass confusion and anger before Gavin managed to push him off and demand an explanation. As it turned out Jack had lived in this swamp his whole life and he felt the need to protect his home from Ryan who looked very threatening with his lab coat and machete he used to hack through the thick vegetation. 

After Ryan proved he was no threat and was just doing research Jack was very friendly with them. He agreed to come by for tests and even hung around long enough to start a garden in front of the house. He was welcomed to without much fuss. 

The came Michael. He was a bit of a strange case. Ryan mostly kept him around for the scientific aspect. He considered him Schrodinger's boy. He was quite vague about his past but from Ryan could gather he died and thanks to some freaky voodoo sigils carved onto his body (by people unknown) he was possessed by his own ghost. He was immortal, indestructible, not living nor dead.

But he was a friendly presence none the less. 

Finally Ray showed up. Well actually Michael found him the morning after his first transformation. Ray was a werewolf, but it wasn’t always a bad thing. After a while the transformations didn’t hurt and he could maintain same mental capacity of his human self. He was still a bit skittish around others. He was only one year into this new magical part of him and he’d already had one incident where he lost control and killed someone during a blood moon when his feral side came out. After that Ray moved in, feeling it was safer to stay secluded with people he trusted.

And thus Ryan had a house full of paranormal creatures. And Gavin. Ever since Gavin squirmed his way into his life Ryan had brought down all his barriers and allowed Gavin and his madness to take over his life. It was scary. Ryan’s job was to get in the face of some of the most dangerous creatures imaginable but Gavin being in close contact scared the absolute shit out of him. Not that he would ever let anyone know. 

Geoff laughed at Gavin's cowering form and tossed the poker at him. 

"Aahh man now I got marshmallow in my hair," he pouted. 

"That's what you get for trying to make s'mores on Geoff," Michael mocked. 

Seeing how the situation resolved itself Ryan went back to the kitchen. Although he had recently became more open to social situations he was still very introverted. He puttered around making enchiladas for dinner. 

He liked Gavin. He liked all of his friends but there was something about Gavin. Perhaps he had simply known him the longest. Ryan had never had a friend before Gavin. The kids at school where terrified of him and avoided him like the plague. Even in college when he thought 'crazy Ryan' was finally done with it surfaced again very quickly. Sooner or later Ryan simply stopped fighting it and focused on his work. Gavin changed that. He was friendly and not scared of him in the slightest (well perhaps that wasn't entirely true). 

Ryan heard a slight shuffling from behind him. 'Speak of the devil' he thought. 

"Boo!" Gavin said grabbing his shoulders. Ryan continued mixing the sauce as if he wasn't aware Gavin was there. 

"Ah come on don't be like that Ryan," he said snaking his arms around his waist and hugging him from behind. 

"Gavin quit it," he said holding back a laugh. 

"Pay attention to me," Gavin whined. Pressing his forehead against Ryan's neck.

"Whoa what's going on here? You two about to fuck? Don't get it in the enchiladas." Geoff said entering the kitchen. 

Gavin released Ryan and leaned against the counter next to him. Ryan felt the loss of contact strongly and something in his chest constricted. 

"Nah Ryan's just being a bastard," he said. 

"Well then no enchiladas for you," he replied turning away. 

"Shit Ryan that's cold," the demon said. 

"You're as cold as ice!" Gavin sang. 

"Both of you shut up is Jack staying for dinner?" The swamp monster didn't eat food but he sometimes likes to stay and chat. Geoff nodded twirling his mustache.  
"Okay foods done." Ryan said pouring the last of the sauce over the enchiladas.

Ray poked his head in the doorway. "You rang?" He said grabbing a plate and piling food on. Ray's werewolf metabolism meant he ate a lot more than a typical human. "Hey leave some for the rest of us," Gavin said elbowing him. 

"Ya’ll are going to eat me out of house and home," Ryan said shaking his head. 

Eventually everyone was at the table loudly munching on their food. 

“I don’t understand how you can eat this stuff,” Jack said brushing off rice someone had thrown at him. 

“Don’t you eat fertilizer like literally cow shit,” Michael said.

“I fail to see the difference.” 

“Jack you’re so mingy,” Gavin said mouth full of food.

“Ryan you going to finish that,” Ray asked leaning across the table towards him.

Ryan sighed, “Yeah go nuts.” Ray didn't need anymore prompting as he swiped Ryan’s plate away. 

Ryan looked across the table and smiled. A year ago all these people in his house would have been a nightmare but things were different now. Gavin laughed loudly beside him. It was different because of Gavin. This whole thing was possible because of Gavin. Ryan felt a rush of warmth and his chest tightened again. He looked down and whispered, ‘thanks Gavin.’ Gavin apparently heard as his hand briefly grasped his under the table. Ryan looked up and Gavin mouthed, ‘you’re welcome’ before releasing his hand and turning his attention back to Michael and Geoff arguing about Call of Duty. His hand went cold at the loss of contact.


	2. Chapter 2

It's a freezing winter's night when Gavin dies. There was nothing leading up to his death, no warning of what was to happen to Gavin Free.The suddenness made it worse; like a shot to the chest.

Gavin had said he was going to take a walk into town to pick up some supplies from the local store but after 3 hours had passed Ryan became worried and set out to find him. When he did he felt all the warmth leave his body never to return.

The vultures were digging into his leg. The skittered away when he came closer, feet crunching in the dirty snow on the side of the road. Gavin’s body was blue and devoid of life. His head was dented and still bleeding sluggishly. The vultures picked his shirt off he could see his entire body bathed in lacerations and bruises. The vultures didn't stop there. They picked at his chest until his ribs were visible, until his leg and right arm were shredded and Ryan could see dozens of blowflies nesting themselves in his corpse. 

Ryan stood there for a full hour. He knew because he was counting every second Gavin did not move or breathe or smile. He could feel the cold seeping into his bones and his body becoming heavy. He did not attribute this to the weather. 

After an hour, Ryan took what felt like his first breath ever. He whispered, throat cold and rusty and painful, "Gavin?"

-1 day later

He didn't see Gavin after that. He wasn't sure he wanted to.

It was Geoff who found him. He stood there for a bit longer than an hour. Incapable of escaping the force rooting him in the spot and he just focused on breathing. Geoff found him and then there was an ambulance and Ryan was being stuffed into a van and wrapped in a blanket. He felt numb. Which sounds cliche but cliches do exist for a reason. 

Now he was back in his lab and staring at a wall. Repeating the corners words. 

"I'm very sorry Mr. Haywood it appears Mr. Free was the victim of a hit and run about an hour prior to your discovery of him." 

He felt no anger towards the man that murdered Gavin. He felt only a stabbing loss and a cold feeling that enveloped his body so fully he felt at any moment he might crumble.

Ryan felt like he should cry. Gavin didn't have any family left his mother having died earlier that year (Ryan remembers Gavin crying himself to sleep on his shoulder after getting the news. He remembers staying awake all night holding him. He remembers how neither of them acknowledged what had happened the next day. He remembers buying Gavin his ticket back to England and Gavin saying thank you without looking up.)   
He felt like he should cry for them. For his parents that couldn’t cry. But he didn’t. He didn’t leave the lab. Upstairs the others were mourning their lost friend and Ryan couldn’t intrude. If he saw the others he might drown in sorrow. 

A little over one year ago Ryan wouldn't have cared about Gavin's fate. But ever since that day life without the little British lad was unthinkable. He brought so much light and energy to Ryan's life and changed so much in the short time they knew each other that he was unable to fully grasp life without him.

So he stayed in his lab. Eyes and hands flitting about but not really doing anything. Occasionally Geoff and or Ray would come down to see how he was fairing. They pushed food at him and got him to sleep but they were too busy with their own grief to worry much about Ryan. 

After three days he was alerted by loud banging and muffled yelling. He raced up the steps and the hall to the living room he saw Michael viciously pinning Geoff to a wall. From where he lurked in the shadowy hallway he could see Michael crying angry tears and Geoff gazing at him sadly. 

"Bring him back." He whispered hoarsely. "I know you can you're a demon just do it bring him back." 

"Michael I can't," Geoff pleaded. 

"Fucking hell you can't!" 

"Michael I'm serious I don't have that power I'm not a high level demon. Please listen I miss him to." 

"They brought me back why not him?" 

"Michael what they did to you uses some powerful magic I don't poses." 

"Well find someone who can! Just bring him back!" A heavy pause then a broken, "please." 

"Even if understood the magic that went into your reanimation there would need to be a body." 

Another silence. Nobody moved. They barely breathed. Finally Michael released his arm from Geoff's neck. He moved to collapse onto the couch. Geoff looked at him with sunken eyes, "I'm sorry Michael." He turned down the hall where Ryan was watching. His eyes flicked towards him but he walked past silently. 

He stood there for a while. He could feel a pounding in the back of his head. A dim outline of a thought. His mind was hazy with grief and he strained to see past it. Suddenly three words. Bright and loud and brief. "Bring him back." The words surfaced for a second but long enough for Ryan to grab onto them and drag them to the surface of his treacherous mind. 

Bring him back. 

Was it that easy? 

Back in his lab, he observed his drawers full of vials containing different species of animals and plants. Towards the back (kept out of sight as Gavin was terrified of it) was a live chupacabra. Tied down to a medical table with several tubes sticking out of it that kept it alive for Ryan to study. He could preserve life easily. But bring it back? That took more than medical knowledge. That took magic. 

In a burst of adrenaline provided by the hope that death wasn’t the end, Ryan poured over texts explaining the essence of life and what powered it. It all came down to this: the brain.

The brain was the center of consciousness and, based on lore Ryan had poured over, it wasn't true that when someone died there consciousness didn't simply disappear. No it attached itself to people and objects that it was close to when it was alive. 

Ryan could fix that. 

Ryan could bring him back. 

He smiled for the first time since Gavin died. It wasn’t joyful but it was a start. 

He felt the hope that he would see Gavin again propel him towards the cemetery. Gavin’s body was decimated but that was okay. Ryan just needed some spare parts to fix him. The dead wouldn’t mind. It was for a good cause.

Ryan repeated this mantra as he dug up the corpse of David Wood. He was a recently deceased man who fit Gavin’s complexion well enough to meet his needs.

Plans flitted about the estate for a funeral. Ryan pushed these back as subtly as he could. He needed just a few more days. Just a few more days he could bring Gavin back and everything would be okay. Gavin would be back and happy and safe. It would be hard for not just Gavin but everyone to adjust to having him back. But that didn't matter. Whatever reaction they had they would soon see the light. They would soon thank him for bringing him back. 

Ryan tried not to look at Gavin's body as he dragged him into his lab. The morticians cleaned his body well enough but the ugly scars and chunks of missing flesh were still too much for him. He powered through. 'He won't be like this for long' he repeated over and over out loud. Trying to mimic the noise Gavin brought with him everywhere he went.

Soon the two bodies were laid out side by side on the medical table and he went to fetch the final piece. Soul dust. It was a difficult ceremony in which Ryan had to spend several hours trying to find items Gavin's consciousness might have latched onto. Pictures, clothes, his slow motion camera, and even DNA samples from his closest friends and channeling that part of him into the dust. The result would be a dust containing Gavin's pure consciousness. 

Soul dust used to be used in the dark ages and every use of it was successful and it was hailed as a miracle until people started noticing differences in the people that were brought back. They acted like they weren't themselves causing people to believe they were actually possessed by evil spirits and everyone who was revived was killed and the soul dust was outlawed. 

Ryan read each and every case of soul dust being used (which was quite hard as it wasn't used for long and didn't appear out of England) and knew this but chalked it up to paranoid and ignorant citizens. Their fear caused them to make mistakes. But Ryan wasn't afraid. The only thing more scary than dying was a life without Gavin. 

And so on a dark and stormy night his plan began. 

The first was repairing Gavin’s body by sewing David’s flesh onto him in patches. The result wasn't terribly unattractive considering how badly he was shaking. He discarded David Wood's body in the incinerator. There could be no evidence. 

Next was a several working organs. This was a bit harder than obtaining the corpse. He had to journey to the deepest parts of the internet to find illegal organ sellers. The cost was high but money was no obstacle (it was possible to find out where exactly the heart was coming from but Ryan adamantly avoided that information).

Then the worst part. Opening the skull in order to sprinkle the dust directly onto Gavin’s brain. This was Ryan’s last chance to back out. No harm, many fouls. He thought about it briefly but thinking back to Gavin’s warm smile and how he would never see it again he kept going. 

He focused his eyes on his hands. Not looking at Gavin’s face while he drilled a hole into the base of his skull. 

The dust was glowing. A myriad of oranges and blues. It gave off an aura that was so uncannily Gavin that Ryan had no doubts it would work. He held it in his hands for several moments reveling in the warmth it gave off and the musky smell of Gavin. Until a crash of thunder reminded him of his task. 

Muttering prayers to several different Gods, he poured the dust. 

The lab extended underneath the backyard and so there was a small hatch that lead there for easy escapes. The brain worked by sending transmissions to billions of neurons. According to Ryan’s calculations it was perhaps possible to jump start the brain with a high enough controlled voltage. 

Sticking a long metal rod up the hatch and connecting it to electrodes on Gavin’s brain he waited. 

It didn’t take long for lightening to strike. The bright flash and force of the blow threw Ryan against the wall. He couldn't help his cry of pain as he saw white and struggled to get up. The alarm systems blared and Ryan had to shut it off before the others knew. But it was too late. The others came barreling down the stairs just as Ryan was closing the hatch. 

They stood there silently as Ryan frantically checked Gavin’s condition.

“Ryan what did you do,” came Jack’s quiet whisper.

Ryan didn’t answer as he pressed his head to Gavin’s chest. His heart was beating. Ryan gave a heavy sigh of relief, 'he alive it's okay he's alive.' He turned to face the others, to tell them the good news but all he saw was an angry Geoff staring him down with black eyes. 

"What the fuck did you do," he growled. 

Still riding the joy of bringing Gavin back, he answered breathily, "he's fine it's okay." 

"None of this is fine," Michael said, advancing toward him. "Do you have any idea what you did?" 

Ryan couldn't answer as Gavin gave out an agonizing scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Okay chapter 2 is finally up. Again super sorry. I'm not really used to doing mulit chapter fics and this month has been super busy. Anyway hopefully I'll have chapter 3 (the final chapter) up tomorrow but Monday the latest. I will admit this story isn't turning out as great as i wanted it to but maybe next Halloween I'll do a big re write. Anyway the next chapter will be in Gavin's perspective. Hope it doesn't break thing up to bad but we'll see how it goes.


	3. Chapter 3

Fire. He was on fire. His entire being was coming alive in intense heat. Memories and emotions flooded him in a wave of extraordinary pain. Flashes of his life came and went and he understood none of it. He focused on the pain coursing through his body as it was the only thing that made sense to him. 

There were hands on his body. He thought. And noise? He couldn't exactly tell where it was coming from but there was defiantly noise. Just when he thought the terror would never end, all the pain vanish. His mind was hazy but he could hear himself panting and feel cold metal on his body. 

"Gavin!" A familiar voice shouted. He knew who that was. Who was that? 

"Gavin say something!" A different voice shouted. That was Ray. He knew that. 

Only now did it occur to him to open his eyes.

He immediately regretted that. 

Colors assaulted him and blurred together but he had no energy to scream so he groaned in pain. 

"Gavin please talk to me," that strange voice said. 

"Uhhh," was all he could manage. 

Strong hands sat him up and Gavin looked out onto the faces of his friends. His brain processed each of their faces carefully to ensure this was real. Geoff, Jack, Ray, and Michael all looked at him with worry and heartbreak. 

But there was one stranger.

The man had a muscular build with a very handsome face with infinite blue eyes and lite sandy stubble. 

Gavin looked at him with bewilderment. He knew this man. Did he? What was going on? 

He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. The last thing he remembered was telling Michael he was going to town. When was that? 

"That's right Gavin deep breaths. How are you feeling?" Jack soothed. 

"What…happened?" He said digging the heel of his hands into his eyes. 

"Fucking good question," came Michael's bitter reply. 

"Gavin, there's no easy way to say this so I'm just going to say it," the stranger said. "You died." The stranger smiled. "You died but I brought you back you're okay now." 

Gavin closed his eyes again. This was all too much. "Where…how…who?" He couldn't decide on a question. He groaned again. His body felt so new and disconnected from his mind and it was agony. Nothing felt right. 

The stranger couldn't stop smiling and a part of Gavin screamed that he wasn't a stranger; that Gavin knew this man like the back of his hand and knowing this while simultaneously not know this was baffling. 

"Who are you?" He finally settled on. 

The man's smile faded and his eyes clouded over. 

"Gavin it's me, Ryan," he whispered painfully and Gavin hated himself for not knowing this man. 

"I don't…"

"Do you remember us Gavin?" Ray said.

Gavin nodded and recited everyone's names. 

"But I don't know you," he said regretfully.

"Now do you see what you've done?" Michael growled at the man, who backed away with such a sad and terrified look stuttering pathetically, "I didn't mean to…Gavin I…I never." 

"What the hell happened?" Gavin screamed. Everything was wrong. His body was wrong his mind was wrong his memories were wrong and he couldn't take it. 

Jack approached him carefully, "you were killed and Ryan who is your friend brought you back." 

"But how?" 

Geoff flared up, grabbing his arm forcefully and shoving it in his face, "guess." It was then that Gavin noticed the tint of green in his skin and the many thick stitches attaching him to an arm that was not his own. 

He didn't realize he was screaming until Ray pushed Geoff away. His stomach rebelled against him but it was empty. He wasn't entirely sure it was even his stomach which only made his dry heaves more violent with the thought. His eyes brimmed with tears and he screamed and struggled against his own body. 

He had died; quite violently. His body had been torn to shreds and stuck back together like patchwork. His body was not his own. 

Michael grabbed his face. "Gavin relax!" He screamed. And he did still hiccuping with small sobs as he fully processed what happened. He hugged Gavin who was too weak to hug back. "I'm sorry." He whispered with full sincerity. All his friends- and Ryan if they were indeed friends- nodded. "It sucks and it's not right but it happened." Michael said. 

Gavin took several breaths to calm down after Michael released him. 

This wasn't right. None of this was. 

Ryan stepped forward. "Gavin I don't care that you don't remember me." He said. He was lying. "You're back and you're safe and I promise you it's not as bad as it seems." 

"Not as bad as it seems! Fucking hell Ryan!" Geoff screamed swishing his tail threatingly.

"Why did you do this?" Gavin said. He couldn't understand why this man had brought him back. Did he even want to be back? Would he have preferred to stay dead? Looking at his friends the answer was no. But looking at the hand that wasn't his and the answer became cloudy. 

Ryan took a deep breath and looked at him with ferocity and raw truth. "Because we need you." 

There was a long silence. Nobody in the room had any idea where to go from here so the quietly pondered the series of events. 

Jack, ever the logical one, told everyone that rest was the only thing that would help now. Michael followed Gavin back to his room with no prompting and stood in the doorway as Gavin collapsed into his bed. 

"I didn't have a choice either," he said. Gavin didn't reply. "You know the logical part of me knows and hates Ryan for doing this to you but the other stupid part," he paused, "I'm just glad you're back." He said then left. 

Gavin stayed up a long time trying to piece together his memories. How did he end up in this house? How did he met the others? There was something missing. A big key part of who he was was just gone and the loss of whatever it was hurt his very core. This must have something to do with the mysterious Ryan. 

Eventually his mind slowed down enough and he fell into a restless sleep. 

The next few days were terribly awkward. Everyone flittered about each other and Geoff full on flamed out when he saw Gavin at breakfast that first day. 

At the very least he learned more about Ryan. 

Ryan was his friend. That's what everyone told him and he could definitely see why. Ryan was clever, creative, and surprisingly kind.

And yet something tugged at him every time he was near the man telling him that there was something else. But he couldn't understand what. 

According to Ryan; Gavin was medically fine. He, Jack, and Ray had tried to make him a bit more comfortable by joking with him, Ray even bought a Waluigi hat on the day of the full moon and claimed to be a were-Waluigi wiched lifted everyone's spirits for a while. Sadly it didn't last.

Geoff and Michael acted a bit more cold towards him. Geoff straight up avoided him and Michael just looked at him with immense pity. They were Gavin's closests friends before he died but now? They would have preferred he stay dead. 

Everything was wrong and Gavin was sick of it. 

One silent dinner he could take it no more. "Fuck this!" He screamed banging his cup on the table and standing up in a huff. He stomped outside and dimly heard Geoff yelling at Ryan to fix his mistake.

Gavin plopped down on the grass and closed his eyes. Praying that when he opened them he would wake up from this horrible dream. He heard Ryan sit next to him. It had to be Ryan, the others could barely stand him. "Go away," he murmured. Ryan didn't leave but he didn't speak. 

There was a long silence that broke when Ryan said, "I'm not sorry Gavin." He laid down beside Gavin. The ground was cold and wet with spring showers and the upside down crescent moon held millions of stars above. Behind the stars there was only void. Gavin wondered if that's what it was like to be dead. To blindly float through an endless void. 

He wondered if he would choose to come back. 

"Gavin when you died it broke me," he said softly. "I'm strong but you've always known how to break me." He looked at him with adoration. "Your loss it just…I'm a problem solver Gav and instead of wallowing in my grief I elected to do something about it." Gavin watched him intently and scoffed. "You call this fixed!" He yelled gesturing to his patchwork body. 

Ryan nodded but did not look at him. "It wasn't pretty but you're here." 

Gavin sat up, outraged. "This is wrong." He growled through clenched teeth. 

Ryan turned to him. "No." He leaned closer to him his hands fluttered like they wanted to touch him but didn't. "This isn't wrong. You're here and that means everything's okay." There were tears in his eyes as he smiled at Gavin. "Everything's alright if you're with me." He leaned back. "And when you're gone…" he trailed off tilting his head back. "When you're gone nothing okay. Everything is silent and cold and…" he trailed off still staring at the sky for a long moment. "I thought I could make it right again but I can't." 

Gavin stared at him. Who was this man? What part had he played in this man's life to make him care like this? 

"What are we?" He asked. And at that moment it was the most important question in the world. 

Ryan's gazed stayed on the night sky as he answered, "friends I hope." 

"No but Ryan what happened to make us like this? What did I do?"

Immediately Ryan responded, "everything. You did everything." He looked down and pulled his knees to his chest. "All of this Gavin," he continued gesturing with one arm towards the brightly lit house, "it's all because of you." 

Gavin pondered this silently. What did he mean by all of this? There no way Gavin could have made this life for him. Ryan was a smart and capable man he didn't need Gavin for anything. Did he? 

Ryan looked so lost sitting the the dewy grass, his clothes were completely soaked and he shivered in the crisp breeze. 

Gavin didn't feel the cold. He didn't feel warmth either. That was the price of being a reanimated corpse. 

"But you're Ryan," Gavin choked out. Ryan was smart and beautiful on his own he didn't need Gavin at all. 

Ryan gave a cold smirk. "And you're Gavin glad we figured that out." 

"No I mean you're Ryan Haywood! You don't need me-" he was cut off as Ryan lurched forward and pressed their lips together. 

It was awkward and brief, they both pulled away immediately and started at each other with wide eyes. "You're wrong I do need you." Ryan said with such intensity as if daring Gavin to think otherwise. Gavin could feel the warmth of his breath ghost his cheek and everything clicked into place. He looked down at his lap and grasped Ryan's hand with the hand that was not his. "It's all wrong but this is right." 

With that he tackled Ryan to the ground with a fierce kiss. 

The hazy gaps in his memories suddenly filled with perfect colors. Ryan's clear blue eye looking at him through the chained door when they first met. Ryan conducting ridiculous experiments just for Gavin to film. Gavin and Ryan teaming up against Michael and Geoff in Halo. Gavin and Ryan sneaking through the woods while Gavin recorded everything in an over dramatic documentary voice and Ryan laughing so hard it scared off the fairies. Ryan changed his life and it all came rushing back as they kissed a little harder. 

Gavin felt the hole that had been there ever since he came back close up as he began to understand where Ryan fit in. How had he not realized sooner?

They finally pulled away breathless, Gavin laid on top of Ryan with his strong arms securing him there. They looked at each other silent. Struggling to understand each other and not needing to when they heard a shout come from the house.

"You two boning? Fucking finally!" Ray called. 

Gavin rolled off Ryan as they both began giggling madly. Both of them finally feeling okay since Gavin died and both filled with the hope that things would be alright. 

Ryan offered a hand to help Gavin up and he took it. And the two of them walked back inside hand in hand, determined not to lose each other ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well so it's one day late give me a break! Anyway I hope you enjoyed this! Next Halloween is part 2!!! Maybe, don't quote me on that.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay fuck I've wanted to do this for a while and eventually I decided to just go for it. Needless to say I don"t have a real plan here and for that I'm sorry. This will hopefully be short and if it all goes well it will finish on Halloween! Please comment! I'm really nervous about this and would love your feedback! Also if you see any errors please let me know. Anyway hope you enjoyed the intro.


End file.
